So I was baptized on Saturday Oct 2, 2010 :) I'm so HAPPY. This happiness I have is joy. It's unlike any other feeling that I've had. My friends say I have a "glow" about myself. I have a genuine joy that no matter what circumstances may arise I serve a living God and I find joy in that. God loves me...lowly me :). So before the baptism we had to attend a mandatory class...the class in and of itself was a #blessing. They went over what baptism is, what it symbolizes and questioned everyone on why they want to be baptized because so many people get baptized because they are told that that's the thing they should do or they are simply made to do it...they don't realize the importance of it. It's like people who say "I love you" to everyone or call everyone a "friend"...after a while it loses it's meaning, the sincerity of the word is lost.
I have also found lately that there is power in testimonies. You never know who may find strength, courage, and comfort in the telling of your story. I dunno about everyone else's story in that room but here is mine:
So we went over how water baptism is you rinsing away the old you and meeting Christ at the water, casting away your sins and your vices and proclaiming that you are dedicating yourself to Christ. I am already saved but water baptism is a packaged deal with salvation. I prayed and I was ready. I was always ready. Not sure why it took me so long to get baptized. Not all churches practice it saying that it's "old testament" or whatever but it's not. In the Bible as God created disciples by saving them, He then baptized them. They also went over how you need to be baptized with a spirit of expectancy. When you go down in the water expect something from God. Have high expectations; He will meet you. For me, I had expectations. I expected Him to meet me there. I was laying down my all and surrendering in faith. All the things I was battling with all the things I was searching for all those things...I let them go...I cast them into the waters and I EXPECTED God to meet ALL my needs. I expected for him to give me a peace past understanding, an unshakable faith and a joy that the world can't take away. I EXPECTED Him to comfort me. I EXPECTED him to be strong for me when I am weak. I EXPECTED Him to supply all my needs. With all these things I expected of Him I also went in with expectations of myself. I expect myself to walk in faith and to stop tip-toeing (sp) around issues that I was on the fence about. I expected that things won't be so hard for me to give up now. I expected so much more from myself...more loving...I want to reflect the love of Christ so that when people see me/talk with me it will manifest. I want to be overflowing with God's love from my heart so that it's aundance has no choice but to pour out from my mouth and my actions. ...the list goes on.
So as my turn neared my eyes began to water...the music was playing "I will never be the same, not after being with you, I'm changing" tears began to flow. I prayed. I worshipped Him. I went down in the water and I felt so many things cast off of me. A weight lifted off my shoulders and an unexplainable joy came over me. God met me just where He said he would :). The same God that I prayed to as a little girl met me. The same God that I was angry with met me. The same God that comforted me when no one else was around met me. The SAME God. He is God...the word is true that God doesn't change, He is not a man that he should lie...it's us who change. God never left me...even when I turned my back on Him. He met me. I LOVE HIM. He'll never leave me or forsake me despite myself. I love Him. I came out of that water with a transformed and renewed heart and mind. I asked for Him to fill me. He met me. He died for ME. I've neglected Him but He ALWAYS loved me...he never turned His back on me. Every time I came crawling back He welcomed me with open arms. I thank Him :) I am changed and I will never be the same. He changed the desires of my heart. I no longer desire the things that I thought I so BADLY wanted/needed. Even my taste for things has changed. I will make mistakes but I will never be the same. I have a relationship with God and I know Him for myself so nothing can shake what we've got going on. I pray more. I worship more. I read more. I'm dedicated. He will provide all the desires of my heart if I continue to seek Him with all my heart.
I hope that anyone else out there who is going through will look to Him. He will NEVER leave you or forsake you. When you feel like all is lost and there is no hope you will find comfort in Him. I only say these things because I've been there...TRUST ME. I have been in some MESS...a couple of times....but He was there.
All that to say that I've found TRUE happiness. And watch how God works...I invited my friends to my baptism and I'll b darned if they haven't decided to join my church too. God loves YOU.
Woo! A mouthful but honestly I swear those words STILL aren't enough to explain how I feel or all the thoughts running through my mind at the time. I can't even begin to put into words what came over me or what I prayed about because I prayed in the spirit so only God knows that.
Ok I guess that's enough for a first post but I look forward to sharing my journey with you guys as I make my mark on the world and hopefully leave it in a better state than how I found it.
